


Lost Connection

by janetcarter



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26860165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/pseuds/janetcarter
Summary: Na'Toth learns the truth of Lennier's whereabouts.
Relationships: Delenn/Lennier (one-sided), Vir Cotto & Lennier & Na'Toth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11
Collections: Fic In A Box





	Lost Connection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DownToTheSea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownToTheSea/gifts).



It was not easy for Na’Toth to see another Centauri’s face after everything she had endured at their race’s hands; even the face of an old friend. This difficulty was not something she was ready to admit, however, so she was secretly grateful Vir only ever called her through voice channels when they spoke. He often claimed the video wasn’t working, or that it was a “bad hair day” (as though the Centauri ever had _good_ hair days), but he also avoided talking of his people’s affairs wherever he could.

This was not a graceful process, as being able to describe Vir as “graceful” would be a sign that his mind had been taken over by a Joojrel parasite. So he stumbled quite a bit, over his words and, she imagined, over his own two feet as he scrambled to stay within the lines he’d drawn.

But the fact those lines were there at all helped stave off the spiral of isolation by allowing her to keep him in her life, even by such small means. 

“So,” said Vir, sounding breathless as he made it to the speaker. “How have you been?” 

“The usual.” It was a formality, of course, but he couldn’t honestly expect any other answer. In addition to conversational norms, she suspected he asked due to a misplaced feeling of guilt for what had happened to her. He was that way about all Narns. At least, unlike the vast majority of his kind, he had taken action to remedy his people’s cruelty as much as any single person could. That was something she could appreciate, even if answering small talk truthfully was still out of the bounds of comfort. “Where were you? The gym level?” 

He let out a quick wheeze of laughter. “Oh, sorry. I, uh, I’m still getting used to the whole ambassador thing. They haven’t sent over an aide yet so I’ve been running all over the station.”

As he rambled about how huge and complex the Babylon 5 was, a sigh escaped her. She turned her attention away from the station icon on the screen and looked to the red sunbeams streaking through the window, the shadows of which hung over her. If her life hadn’t taken such a violent detour, she would easily have remained in space alongside Vir. She would’ve been the one to replace G’Kar. 

“Anyway,” Vir started. “I’m glad you’re good. I’m sure Lennier would say the same if he were here to say it.” 

“What happened to Lennier?” She hardly gave him time to finish the sentence. Vir had often avoided the topic, but there was no hiding the nervousness lacing his words every time he blamed Ranger duties for losing touch with their old colleague. She had never tried further, perhaps because she was not ready to face the possibility of another person leaving her behind. But this time, the slip had been too obvious to ignore. There was a sadness, a worry in Vir’s tone that indicated one of several things; none of them good.

“Forget it,” he stuttered. “I-I shouldn’t have said anything, I--”

“Vir,” she said sternly, taking a shaky breath. “Tell me: Is he alive?”

“I… I believe so...” 

She was only half-relieved and that was far from good enough. “Then why do you speak of him as though he is dead?”

“I’m not supposed to say…”

“Honestly, Vir, who am I going to tell?”

After a deep breath, Vir lowered his voice. It became more hushed, but the fact it didn’t change in volume told her he’d leaned in toward the microphone. “He… He got into trouble with President Sheridan. No one’s seen him since.”

From what she was able to keep up with concerning the Interstellar Alliance, and from the little she did know of Sheridan during his time on Babylon 5, his demeanor certainly appeared to have taken a turn. The stress of politics would do that to anyone, but… “Did Sheridan do something to him?” 

“No, he… Lennier ran away.”

Her voice was caught in her throat, but the anger of being kept in the dark shot the words out like an arrow from a string: “And why am I only hearing about this now?” 

“V-very few people know the truth, I--”

“You say that as though I am too unimportant to be one of those few.” Her imprisonment stripped her of almost everything she had worked for beforehand, and she’d be damned if she let her few remaining friendships slip through the cracks too. 

Vir sighed. “I just… you’re already dealing with so much, I thought…” 

“You thought what?” she snapped. “That I am too weak to handle the truth?”

“No! I’m sorry, it’s just… Oh, what he did, Na’Toth… It wasn’t good.” 

“You are going to tell me what happened, aren’t you?” Silence. “Really, Vir, as though I’d stoop low enough to spread gossip about someone I actually cared for; let alone regarding something serious enough for you to have kept me uninformed.” 

“He…” There were a few more stutters. “Oh, you promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Yes, Vir, I swear.” The suspense may as well have been killing her. “Now, tell me what happened.”

Nothing could have prepared her for what Vir next said: “He left President Sheridan for dead.”

Na’Toth’s eyes widened. “Lennier? _Our_ Lennier?” Maybe _he_ had been taken over by a parasite.

“He changed a lot after you left. Not _because_ you left, I’m not blaming you, I just…” She could picture him fumbling with his hands. “When he left to join the Rangers, he said he needed to get away. Whatever he was dealing with was obviously taking a toll on him.”

Something clicked in her head. “This was about Delenn, wasn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t pick up on it. All the glances he’d steal in her direction, how enchanted he was when speaking of her even in the most mundane diplomatic affairs…” He was practically lovesick, but to one who didn’t know him as she did, or to one as socially inept as Vir, it might have come across as hopeless loyalty. “It was destined for disaster.”

Vir cleared his throat. “He didn’t give details in his message, but now that you mention it… That would make sense.” Vir paused. “I just… I wish I’d known sooner. Maybe… maybe I could’ve helped him deal with it instead.” 

“You could’ve spent every moment of the past few years prying and he still wouldn’t have cracked.” It’d been something she admired about him, actually. She prided herself in reading even the most obscured motivations behind the shifty eyes of conniving politicians, but Lennier? She could always tell he was hiding more. Figuring out _what_ he was hiding was where the trouble lurked. Even now, essentially having confirmation of his infatuation with Delenn, she felt as though there were pieces she may never grasp. “Don’t blame yourself for his emotional constipation.” 

Vir didn’t laugh as she’d intended. Instead he was probably hunched over and looking at an ugly rug, as though there were eye contact he needed to avoid. “I just hope he’s okay.”

Hope wasn’t an easy thing to hold close these days, so she weighed the facts to keep herself calm. “Oh, please, it’s _Lennier._ Remember the time he got into a _bar fight_ of all things, came into a meeting all bruised up?”

“Yeah…” Vir’s voice sounded lighter. “He took out what, six guys all on his own?” 

Na’Toth nodded, forgetting for a moment that they weren’t at the Zocalo eating together and filling out reports with Lennier, forgetting that Vir couldn’t see her because too much had happened since then to allow a visual connection. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“You’re probably right.” The chime of a doorbell mingled with the end of Vir’s sentence. “I have to take this. We’ll talk again later?” 

Suddenly she wasn’t missing diplomatic life as much. “Yes, and Vir? No more secrets. Don’t forget who it is you’re talking to.”

“You’re right, sorry. No more secrets.” 

“Good. You’re awful at hiding them.”

And with a click, she was alone with endless possibilities, trying to keep herself anchored to the only one she could handle like a tiny boat in a strong storm. Lennier had to be okay. No matter how long it’d been since they’d truly interacted, she still looked back on their time together fondly. To accept that they would never see one another again… She couldn’t do it. No, she refused to lose anything else.


End file.
